Most of us don't fully understand love. Neither do I. It's more than a feeling, more than chemistry. The core of love has to be trust, understanding, respect at the deepest level and i know i'm still learning. 2 long broken relationships has taken away more than I realised and i guess we really only learn when it hits u hard and bad at the end of the road. I'm too good at acting strong and pushing things aside. Someday, i'll burn out completely. But perhaps, I've been pushed off too many cliffs in my life... and learning to fall is the only way I learn to survive.
Try to understand love before anything else before you go into a relationship. Relationship is not just commitment or responsibility. It is a commitment to LOVE. A commitment to respect, to understand, to trust your partner without obligation. Everything will eventually come into place because love, will find a way. If you find that sometimes its out of obligation, then it's really trying to love than really loving. And trying to love is not love at all, if you ask me. You may choose who to like, but not who to fall in love with. Just the same way, you may not like someone or disagree with the way they do things, but you still love them.
I am not surprised these days how people are really attracted to one another - personality, looks, or character, and well, be in a relationship long enough, (or even married) but still break up in the end because both never understood the core of love. And i don't deny that i'm a bad testimony of that myself, but it doesn't just take one party to understand that, it takes two. And i'm glad that i've finally come to a realization to that.
I gave everything I've got. And i've tried too many times to work things out because I desperately want things to work out. But still 2 years over, and I'm still working on the same problem, but this time, it's taken over the r/s totally. I don't feel loved the right way, neither do I feel I'm loving the right way. It has become something of a selfish nature.
It is not as simple as just "give and take".. or trying to love the other. I still agree that when you love the person, you accept the other for who she/he is. Love is love. It has no compromise. I know it's pretty idealistic but i choose to think that love is beautiful beyond mine or anyone's comprehension.
And well, if love doesn't come in 2 years................heck i'm still gonna get married anyway.
Before u can love, u need to know what it is to be loved. And to know love, perfect love, is to know God and his love for u. "God IS love". Let urself be loved by God... and u will know how to love.
ReplyDeletelove shd never come with a 'but'.. the words 'i love you' should always end with a full stop.
ReplyDeleteNice, i like what you wrote - drawing the distinction between loving and trying to love. I was a casualty of someone trying to try to love me.. that's worse than trying to love me ;-)