Love will find its way

I wonder if everyone in this world will ever be able to find that special someone that that were meant for them. I grew up wanting and yearning for that someone to share my life with, to settle down and have kids of my own, to have a family made from the two of us. I am a dreamer. A hopeful romantic. Now I understand the things that I do and why my life turned out this way. That why I almost turned gay. heh.

When I do meet someone I feel strongly towards, I do not hold back. However, it is not easy to find someone I feel this way to. And even at times, though it wasn't meant to be, I couldn't defy the laws of attraction. Haha, I guess I do have a 'soft spot' for certain kinda people - pretty girls. Kidding Although it is true too, but more importantly, its that 'X' personality that some girls possess. It's kinda subjective, I know. And its always - I fall head over heels, pursue, get attached, fall in love. And I always thought love will develop over time after the initial infatuation wears off. Then again, I realise that I keep changing my perspective on love.

When I think about the things I'm passionate about, I did not choose them. I was 'touched' by it and it found its way to my heart. There isn't anything in this world that could stop it. And then, I pursue it to let it grow into something beautiful. I did not choose.

Is it idealized? I don't know. But if it is, that i sure am glad that what I have now is 'ideal' then. = )

It came at the most unexpected time. When I've built walls and walls of self preservation. When I'm sure as heaven that I will not get attached soon. When I just turned into a love cynic. or skeptic. I was so dissapointed in myself that I failed time after time, years after years of trying so hard, I could not carry on and told you guys that I'm gonna give myself a break for a while.

Then, it came.

And, it did something miraculous. I did not even try.

And now, I smile. and I do this = ) all time.

My friends = ) back all the time too.